Introduction
In the fall of 1989, I received my mission call for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, more commonly referred to at the time as a Mormon Mission. Revelation has since encouraged the use of the full name of the Church. I had just turned 19 and was anxiously and nervously awaiting the letter that would determine where I would spend the next two years of my life. For many young men, this comes with the added challenge of learning a new language and living in a different country.
My call came and upon opening it, I found I had been called to serve within the United States, speaking my native language of English. Momentarily I must admit there was a sense of disappointment at not going somewhere out of the country and what others considered prestigious. As quickly as that thought came, it left and I felt peace as I reflected on where I had been called. It’s moments like those that I reflected on many times in the years following. I could not deny that the Spirit had testified to me that I had been called to serve at the time and place that God wanted.
The years that followed brought experiences and lessons I could never have believed had I not experienced it first hand. Like many missionaries testify, my testimony of the gospel matured and became an even greater part of who I was. Faith in God and a knowledge of who I am, a child of God, even a son of God, was instilled in me, such that I shall never forget, or ultimately I’ll be accountable for.
In addition to a greater spiritual awakening, there were friendships made, youthful shenanigans, death, love both lost and found, along with the amazing lesson learned to laugh through tears of sadness and joy.
The stories that follow are as true as my recollection will allow, and are from my personal perspective. The thoughts and feelings I portray of others are as they were recounted to me or as I perceived them to be. Names and places have been changed to protect the privacy and goodness of those I had the pleasure of serving, serving with, and learning to love. Any youthful follies depicted should be attributed to me and not that of the LDS Church or those I served with. Nor should they be reenacted…results may vary.
My life has forever been impacted and shaped by the experiences and lessons learned in what I now see as two short years of my life. The memories I share and am grateful for, can mostly be attributed to the amazing men and women who have touched my life and made me better than I could have been on my own. They were truly heaven-sent. And while most memories are fond ones, a few still pain my heart as I reflect upon them, life is just that way.
There is much more color that surrounds what occurred during this time of service. In an effort to avoid making light of sensitive and spiritual matters, I will tread lightly and include only those snippets that provide context. My spiritual journey during those two years is captured in a personal journal and only limited excerpts will be shared due to their sacredness.
So often the events of a mission are categorized as only spiritual in nature and what I call the “life events” or “added color” within, are kept out of the Sunday pulpit dialog. Likely that’s appropriate. What I have come to realize, is that in my case all of these events together have shaped my life and personality. For that, I am deeply grateful.
I’ve also come to realize that some of the “other” events of one’s mission start to come out in the stories later in life. I’ve experienced this phenomenon with both family and friends, enough to contemplate why now? What caused those stories and events to be kept “under wraps” so to speak and yet are clearly memorable and impactful. For some it may be shame or concern as to how it would be perceived. Maybe now they are more secure in who they are and care less what others think. For me, it all adds color and character to the lives of those I love.
For example, a dear friend of mine after 10+ years shared he had been seriously bullied even physically abused while serving with one companion. He is one of the kindest and most gentle men I know but likely was forever changed by those events. Another was asked to take a sister on what I’d consider a date by their mission president, therapy of sorts, cheer her up, see a movie, nothing physical. It sounds absurd but I trust the source and it was a generation ago. And yet another drove a missionary home across multiple mission boundaries at the request of the mission president. All led to interesting stories, events that were not particularly spiritual in nature but unique memories that shaped their story.
I personally experienced many not necessarily by the book requests myself, like driving the mission president’s wife around town shopping, missionary transfers that left me driving alone for hours at a time or periodically alone with a single sister (she rode in the back and it looked like I was her schaefer). I was asked to take a homesick missionary into the city for ethnic food, something specifically from his home country, which surprisingly did the trick of helping ease his pains…a tender mercy. All were above board duties at the request of the mission president, though didn’t necessarily align exactly with the handbook of instructions.
Other examples may not have been “a call of duty” where a mission president makes a formal request e.g., antics on P-day, efforts to help members, and just plain stupid youthful stunts occurred more often than even I would like to admit.
I recall stopping near a massive cornfield with a group of missionaries innocently wanting a bite of fresh sweet corn on the cob, only to find it was actually feed corn. Someone is laughing right now, bound to understand the difference. I know two elders who certainly know better today and no I’m not one of them, at least not this time. What I am trying to say is that not all were deliberate rule-breaking events but might be viewed as such.
How many times do you hear that two missionaries got married and everyone is like “oh really…that’s interesting” and instantly assume that something less than appropriate occurred? While I don’t know first hand, I’m guessing that not too many dates occur while serving a mission. Regardless, those that marry are left to defend their situation and explain away what happened. When in reality, it may be a very sweet and romantic love story. I tip my hat to anyone who finds true love, and a life partner, one that lasts regardless of where that happens. And no, I’m not condoning dating on a mission.
My point in “pointing this out” is that while some occurrences likely don’t appear to align with following the handbook, some were requests by a leader, others were let’s say a bending of the rules or interpretation of them. Not all meant that a missionary was bad or unsuccessful in their duties. The rules are there to keep missionaries safe and on the right track, this I will not debate as I believe it to be true and preach it to the youth, including my children.
Judgment is a tricky thing and how one views the events of others’ lives is ultimately up to the individual. Most of us don’t want to be judged negatively or be seen in a light that may diminish our character. For me, as time goes by, I value the context or as Paul Harvey used to say “the rest of the story”. One would hope that hearing of others’ experiences would allow us each to realize we are more normal than we may have thought.
May you reflect upon your own life lessons and those people who have helped shape your life as you read of these experiences. And, I hope you laugh a little at the humorous and often ridiculous situations that I found myself facing. The gift of laughter lightened my load and brought me joy during trying times. One person in particular, taught me that, and I will never forget the sound of her laugh, nor the light it brought into the lives of others. May we each be so lucky.
-tgw